So, I honestly believe that everyone has the choice to do what they want for themselves in their lives, I don't choose what people want to do nor do I typically criticize peoples choices with what they do with their lives, hey, if you want to do drugs, not go to school, eat McDonalds' for the rest of your life that's your poor decision I'm not going to give you my opinion unless you ask me ( but don't ask me unless your ready for it). The reason I bring this up is that someone recently said to me that, they don't understand why I exercise so much, don't you think it takes time away from your kids, husband, don't you have a job, don't you need to do household chores, etc... the person continues to say, " you must be so rich that you have people take care of everything for you so you can just exercise 8 hrs a day?" You must be a very selfish person?.
Ok, of course I could go in a lot of different directions here and I could certainly rake her over the coals but I needed to tell why I do what I do ( not to justify because I don't need to do that for anyone but myself) but I needed to explain, so here is what I said.
Listen, I exercise because I love to exercise and if I have the time to exercise more than 1hr a day then I will. I love the way exercise makes me feel both inside and out and it also improves my mood and it makes me a better wife and mother. I also set a great example for my children with regards to fitness and explaining to them that fitness can be part of your life and should be because it has so many benefits for you. My husband, myself and my 4 kids all play sports and we play together as much as we can outside because sitting in front of a TV or a DS is not what we deem as exciting or constructive. Now, TV and computers are still fun but we choose to use them selectively so that it means more to them when they do use them.
Now, if your comments are being directed to me because you lack that motivation to exercise to make that change in your life, what I say to you is, " you don't need to exercise 2-3hrs a day to make a difference in your life, you can walk for 20 minutes, use the stairs instead of the elevator, walk around your neighborhood". Just because I workout this much doesn't mean that everyone has to workout this much to make a difference in their lives. When it comes to affecting my family it primarily doesn't because I make sure that I exercise while they are at school/work or on the weekends my husband and I will rotate and make sure that someone is always with the kids. Grocery shopping, cleaning, 20 loads of laundry, animal care, sweeping, mopping, ironing is all done with minimal left and I get the workouts in, so to your question, " NO, I DON"T HAVE A MILLION PEOPLE HELPING ME SO I CAN WORKOUT!!!!! Don't use me as your scape goat to not being able to workout or eat well or make changes in your life, if I can get up at 4am to workout because that's the only time I can then I do, what's your excuse?
lol...most people are just ignorant...they don't want to walk in someone else's shoes and feel what you feel...keep doing the next right thing for you....Be What U R
ReplyDeleteThanks Man, I couldn't believe I was hearing this and she was really truly sincere about what she was saying if not a bit angry. Seriously, your mad at me because I work out, come on.
ReplyDeleteOH GEEZ! Donna, as you know, people - especially women - who do not follow the lifestyle that we do - are always looking for the scapegoat. You just need to focus on YOUR wonderful life and your passions - which includes working out - SO super!
ReplyDeleteJerome and I were talking this AM. He was on the Computrainer (5am) and I was on the TM - and he looked over at me and said, "WHY do people think they do not have time to workout?" Our kids were still fast asleep upstairs and there we were - spending time together - at home - working out - THAT is what most of us do who work, have a family, and live a life - So, really, HER loss and HER lame-ness....don't let her get the worst of you.
xo
Plus one on the "better wife and mother" with exercise. I'll go you one further: we (and note it's not "I," because if you do have a partner/husband, why should someone assume it's only the woman who makes a decision to work out vs. other things?) pay someone (well) to clean our house, clean our gutters and a few other things so we can use that time to play with our kids, do our full-time jobs and, yes, work out. And it's wonderful we can afford to do that, but if someone wants to judge me for that (or for the fact that our house sometimes looks like a train has hit it), screw 'em.
ReplyDeleteI agree KT, I was so mad when she mad all those comments I wanted to say, " so what if I had all these people helping me out, what's it to you". As long as my kids and husband are happy and our family is functioning well ( well technically well if you know our family) then screw you. Thanks for the comment.
ReplyDeleteI think some moms are very bitter that they have given up so much in order to be "great" parents and wives. They carry around this bitterness and unleash it at the moms who don't seem to follow "the rules" that dictate a mom should give up her self--her being--to parent and take care of the home. You do IM for so many reasons. It is really complex, I think, why we choose to do it. And it is a self-centered pursuit. But so? Why shouldn't you be able to pursue something for the self? You have one go around on this planet... you do everything you can to be an incredible mother and wife and STILL make time for you own passion. that is a realized person in my book.
ReplyDeleteKudos.
Nicely said !!!! I have no kids or yet a nice man in my life ... but I can only image what its like if one does (in a wonderful way) ~ we all need our OWN time and I myself will always include personal time in the shoes, on the bike or in the water !!!!
ReplyDeleteWow! Most people do not understand the difference between selfishness and self-care. I think what I admire the most about committed female athletes like you is that you care enough about yourself to pursue your dreams and that you will go to great lengths and make tremendous sacrifices to achieve your goals. Each person is entitled to choose his/her own priorities and values - right? Who ever said that if you are a mother and a wife that you need to subordinate your self care and identity to your children and spouse? I wholeheartedly believe that by being true to yourself you are most capable of being the best person, mother, wife, friend, etc. that you can be. Keep on living exactly as you are Donna! You are definitely an inspiration to me.
ReplyDeletewow! Great post! Just had a discussion with a collegue at work regarding this and I got so happy to see your post. She told me I would not imagen you as a mum, you are doing to much sport you could never imagine you a mum and I got really angry, because I know that if I ever become a mum I will not give up doing all the sports that I love and I am not planning on being a bad mum just because of that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the inspiration!
Britta