Lots of things going on in my mind today but most specifically a conversation I had tonight with someone. Every summer we go away on a fabulous vacation for the first two weeks of August, the kids, my hubby, its great, no complaints really, I'm very blessed in so many areas of my life that even considering being a bit confused about vacation should never reach my mind, but, unfortunately it does. Heres my problem:
The last two years I've trained for ironman Lake Placid in late July, so going away the first two weeks of August was a no brainer, I was in total complete recovery mode, having a gym to workout in, a beach to swim, a road to run on is all I ever needed. The only complaints the past two years was that I couldn't race a local race that everyone does and I've wanted to do for awhile, but really, no biggy.
This year is a bit different, I technically have two "A" races, a half ironman in June and a half ironman in September, ( with a possible long distance event in November if all goes well). Going away this August to places like Italy, Greece, Idaho, California are amazing, the opportunity to travel is just crazy and I"m so blessed, however, is it wrong for me to think that I may not beable to swim for two weeks or even bike depending on where we go? Is it wrong for me to just have a little twinge of sadness that my training will be a little off working up to a big race in September? It's not going to change that we are going, I'm still going to have an amazing time and enjoy myself completely, but I still have those thoughts in my head, I can't help it.
The bigger deal is when you discuss your feelings and emotions to someone and they say, " I really don't care" that you won't beable to bike or swim, its vacation, you can run. I don't care if there is a gym or anything else, you've done ironman for two years. It's hard when people just don't understand, its really hard. I do everything in my power to make sure what I love to do doesn't effect my family too much or my relationship with friends and my obligations, but of course it does a little, how can it not, I'm not stupid or nieve. However, the people who love you most should beable to understand what makes someone happy, what makes someone tick, what gives that person a purpose and a goal in life along with being a mother, wife and friend.
Triathlon, working out, being fit has become a part of my life, I'm not obessed about it but its become a part of my life, its part of who I am, yet it doesn't define completely who I am. It's hard when people don't understand that or try to accept that.
Well, anyway, enough bitching for now, life is always good and if this is the only thing I can bitch about than I truly am blessed.