I dont mean to sound like a bitch and I'm certainly blessed that I have supportive friends and most of the time my family but if and when I can't complete a workout because of one of the above reasons or if I hear one more time" just get up earlier to get it done so it doesn;t interfere with the day", " What I have to get up at 3:30am in the morning just so that I don't interfere with everybody elses day. Has anyone ever tried to do an interval bike ride starting at 3:30am or a run on a treadmill at that time and honestly thinks its going to be a quality workout, I don't think so. And, I'm usually more spent and useless on a day like that than if I was able to sleep till 5 or 6am.
Anyway, I really am blessed to be able to do these things its just ironman and my racing means a lot to me, I don't train this hard or spend time away from my kids just for shits and giggles, I want to do my best and I love the journey, and I always just want to make sure that I've done everything that I need to, to the best of my ability to do what I am capable of on race day with no excuses.
I want to be a great wife, mother, friend and athlete, I want to be successful in every aspect of my life as much as I can. I just want to be able to get in my workouts without my cell phone ringing to say when are you coming home ( I've been gone for 15 minutes) or any other excuses people have to not let me do what I need to do for me, why is it so hard to let me do what I need to do for me. I don't want to wait until I'm 60 before I can do what I need to do, I'm not asking for a lot. Oh well, I'm just bitching now, I'm sorry, I hope I don't sound ungrateful, long weekend and I'm tired and all I want to do is swim and run tomorrow, lets hope for some uninterrupted workouts, please.
Oh, Donna. I think so many of us know EXACTLY what you are saying! And the worst thing is that on top of being stressed about fitting in our workouts, we have to deal with the societally imposed guilt that stems from actually asking to do something significant that WE love and is so important to us. My mom told me yesterday that triathlon is a inherently a self-centered and selfish sport (though she didn't mean to incriminate me, actually)--but then I had to wonder--
ReplyDeletewell, yes. But aren't all hobbies like that? She read mysteries non-stop when I was a kid and you couldn't get her attention unless you literally pinched her. My dad spent every weekend cultivating grapes and maintaining a huge garden, but that wasn't seen as selfish-it was seen as him having a passion that was interesting and important.
WTF?
Is it so much to ask for 5 hours in a weekend to do something that makes us feel whole? It's selfish because we are moms and moms are supposed to spend every waking moment being mom?
argh.
Donna - I can't say it better than Mary. You are an AMAZING wife, mother, and athlete. Sometimes I think it's our fault for setting the bar too high and allowing those in our lives to get used to the fact that we will always put them first and ourselves last. But that's not fair either because it lets them off the hook. It's also their job not to take advantage.
ReplyDeleteI've decided that I'm doing my husband and kids a favor by neglecting them a bit...they are learning self-reliance, resilience, and independence. Just like we did growing up.